Cal's Story
by Libra2
Summary: From Cal's point of view, we see his vulnerabilty and his true feelings for Rose.
1. Chapter 1

                 **Cal's Story**

           **Chapter One**

     As Cal gazed up at the grandest ship in the world, he glowed with pride that he was able to impress his beautiful young fiancée with this experience. His arrogance, as Rose saw it, was a mask for his insecurity. God forbid anyone see him as he truly felt 

 "_Useless boy !_ " 

Cal winced, subconciously touching the buckle shaped scar on his hip.

_"It doesn't look any bigger than the Mauretania!"_  Rose mused. This was not the reaction he had hoped for, but he had half expected his feisty Rose to play it this way, which slightly amused him, diluting his feelings of disappointment at her outward show of disinterest. 

     Alone at last in his suite, Cal poured two glasses of champagne and passed one to his beautiful Rose. Planting a kiss tenderly on her forehead, he told her he loved her. Rose looked into his eyes as if to seek out his inner feelings. Did this beautiful girl really doubt his true feelings? Perhaps she questioned his motives? He'd heard the rumours. He knew that people suspected him to be marrying in such haste in order to adhere to the conditions of his father's inheritance. It hurt him. He wanted the bastard's money, yes, but he wanted Rose more. Without Rose the money would mean nothing. He told her that time and again, but doubted she believed it, and he couldn't admit it to anyone else, as it would be a sign of weakness… 

_"You weak boy! Act like a man for God's sake! You're behaving like a little girl!"_ _He was six years old, and his father, Nathan Hockley, had just returned from a business trip. Young Caledon ran to his father and hugged him with excitement. The subsequent blow to his head knocked him to the ground. His bottom lip quivered, but he dared not cry as his father reminded him,_ _"Showing your feelings is a sign of weakness, boy!"_


	2. Chapter 2

                 **Cal's Story**

            **Chapter Two**

      When the steward delivered the news that Rose had been involved in an incident on deck, his heart sank to the pit of his stomach. His darling Rose, whom he would give his life to protect; he could not bear to think of her coming to any harm. He saw the scruffy youth and became incensed at the idea of him hurting, even touching, his beloved fiancée. 

_"What made you think you could lay a hand on MY fiancée?", he yelled. Unfortunately, those around him deciphered his reaction as one of possessiveness and of indignation at the thought of someone touching HIS property, rather than concern at his fiancée's welfare. He did, of course, feel some sort of ownership over her. She was the first thing in his life which had met with his father's approval. He actually seemed proud of his son, for the first time. Losing Rose would bring condemnation from his father, no matter what the circumstances. Cal thought back to the death of his mother, when he was just twelve years old. She died of cancer, but Nathan Hockley still managed to make his young son feel responsible. He still had the mental and physical scars to remind him…_

_"Stop crying, boy! No wonder your mother fell so ill having you as a son! You are a weak child, and you sucked out all of your poor mother's energy. She probably died as a result of the shame she suffered for having a weak child for a son. Look at you acting like a snivelling little girl. I will have to teach you a lesson now…" Being locked in the cold dark cupboard for the next few hours was a relief after the unbearable beating he'd had to endure…_

     As it transpired, this young chap had actually come to Rose's rescue and saved her from falling off the ship. A deed which Cal felt obliged to reward with an invitation to dinner the following evening. He smiled at the idea of this third class chap looking like a fish out of water in the grand opulence and sophistication of the first class dining saloon.

    On returning to their suites, Cal desperately needed to show Rose how he truly felt about her. 

_"The diamond!", he whispered to himself. He had bought Rose an extremely rare blue diamond, once owned by Louis XVI, which had now been cut onto the shape of a heart. He had intended to present it to her at their official engagement gala the following week, but he couldn't think of a more elaborate way of showing her the extent of his feelings for her, which he wanted to do right at this very moment. So he decided to give it to her there and then. Rose looked at the overwhelming piece of jewellery which Cal had gently and lovingly fastened around her delicate neck. Cal had sincerely meant it as a sign of his love, but all the ever cynical and growingly suspicious Rose could think to herself was how this was like some kind of identity tag an owner would attach to his pet: a badge of ownership. _

_"This is so typical of Cal!", she thought to herself, __"He thinks he can buy anything he wants! Even me!"_

Cal looked at her longingly, but as Rose gazed ahead at her reflection in the dressing table mirror, his heart began to break as he realised he was losing her.


	3. Chapter 3

                 **Cal's Story**

                    **Chapter Three**

    Cal was just chatting to the Countess of Rothes when he heard Rose call, 

_"Darling?"_

He quickly turned around to set his eyes upon his beautiful Rose and noticed she was on the arm of a young gentleman. He smiled as Rose proceeded to introduce the young man.

_"Surely you remember Mr. Dawson?" she said._

Cal was stunned at the transformation of this chap from third class gutter rat to first class gentleman. Although, on closer inspection, he thought to himself, it was quite clear to anyone seeing him that he had no breeding, and though wealthy, was lacking in class. But what Cal noted more than anything else throughout the evening was how alive Rose looked with him. Her eyes had a sparkle he had not seen before. She glowed. She looked relaxed and comfortable with this young man, in a way she never did with him. Yet again, Cal felt his heart falling apart. 

     Lovejoy returned to Cal, later that same evening, with the news that he had found Rose cavorting at a raucous party below decks with the gutter rat, as they now referred to Dawson. Cal could not bear to proceed with his man servant's suggested plan to "sort the boy". He had to be alone and so retired to his room. As Cal sat on the bed he felt another swift blow to his heart, he could not lose Rose to this boy. It would mean the end of his world, and would be the worst kind of failure in his father's eyes. Cal thought of the beatings, the cupboard, and worst of all, the disapproving look on his father's face. 

    At breakfast, Cal confronted Rose about the previous night. He had intended only to explain how upset he was. However, the fiery young Rose retaliated. He could see she had had more fun last night than he could ever give her. The fear and pain in the reality of losing her that faced him now was too much to bear. It was a lethal cocktail which exploded inside him. He threw the breakfast laden table across the room as he bellowed at Rose. She trembled with fear, and Cal had to leave the room quickly, shocked and ashamed at his behaviour towards his beloved and precious young fiancée. He rushed to his bedroom and supported himself on the dressing table as his eyes welled up with tears. Willing himself not to cry, he inspected his reflection in the mirror. How could he treat Rose that way? The woman he loved, treasured, and adored more than anything in this world. He despised himself. This hurt more than any of the beatings he had ever received. 


	4. Chapter 4

                 **Cal's Story**

                    **Chapter Four**

    Cal could not believe his eyes. The sketched picture he held in his hands was of his Rose, posing seductively in the nude. Her eyes held a look of pure desire. But although they were looking at him now, from the drawing, at the time they had been focused on the artist, Jack Dawson. Cal was enraged. He set out to have Dawson removed from Rose's life, once and for all.  

    Cal's heart pounded when Rose walked through the door on Dawson's arm. On receipt of the nod from Lovejoy, he made his accusation of theft against Dawson. The Master At Arms searched Dawson and found the diamond which Lovejoy had surreptitiously placed in Dawson's coat pocket, on Cal's orders. Cal felt a wave of relief as he saw Dawson taken away. But again, although his overwhelming desire was simply to hold Rose close and tell her how much she meant to him, he just couldn't help himself; something inside him just snapped. He struck his beloved young bride-to-be. 

_"It is a disgusting little boy, isn't it!" his father hissed at him as the young Cal cowered on the floor, shielding himself from yet another blow to the head. He daren't cry, he daren't cry. Daddy, please just love me…_


	5. Chapter 5

                 **Cal's Story**

                    **Chapter Five**

    The ship was sinking. Chaos ensued. Cal could not leave without Rose. Despite the fact she had run off to rescue Dawson and had made her choice perfectly clear, Cal could not bear to lose her. His desperation led him to try to shoot Dawson, but he failed. He was now resigned to the fact that he would have to let her go. Perhaps if they survived this disaster he could plead with her to reconsider.

_Please just love me, Daddy, please just love me?_

    Cal, exhausted, freezing cold, and wet through, made his way to the deck on the Carpathia which held the rescued steerage passengers. He searched in desperation in hope of finding his precious love. But to no avail. He had lost the one good thing in his life. His heart finally gave up and he could feel the last few shards shattering. He walked slowly back to the first class section of the rescue ship, back to his life, back to the stark, cold void of pain and emptiness he would now have to endure without his beautiful Rose.

_Rose, I'm so sorry! Forgive me? My sweet Rose. It should have been me._


	6. Epilogue

                 **Cal's Story**

                                                 **Epilogue**

     Cal married eventually, and inherited his millions, but he was never happy. He never recovered from losing his true love. Many a time during his wretched life he would implore God to agree a deal to take away his wealth in return for his Rose. 

     In 1929, around the time of the Stock Market crash, Cal heard word of Rose. He discovered she had survived and was to be married. The pain was too much to bear, and Cal put a pistol in his mouth.

_I'm sorry I couldn't make you proud, Daddy. I'm sorry I couldn't love you in a way you deserved, my sweet, sweet Rose… …_


End file.
